Today is officially the last day of my sabbatical. Friday was my birthday and Monday is the day to begin anew. I had hoped that my sabbatical would bring spectacular changes to my world, but it did not. However I still think it was a good thing. It gave me a lot of time to reflect on what I want to do with my life and it helped me come to peace with how things are. I believe I’ve grown spiritually and am more at peace with myself. I am increasingly interested in Zen Buddhism, which seems to suit me particularly well.
I’ve come to accept my fate as a bachelor, but I am confident that in due time that Fate will choose for me when that is finished. From the people I’ve talked to that is how it works for most people, especially when it works well. You can’t choose or control Love. It chooses you. Zen and the Art of Nothing is my plan. For some reason Fate has left me alone later than most people. I think I understand why and when Fate makes it move, I’m sure I will no longer think I understand, but will just know.
I’ve decided to stay in Salt Lake City because wherever you go there you are. As my experience showed in Texas, things are pretty much the same everywhere. In Salt Lake, I have a lot of friends and am well placed in the career and the recreational activities I enjoy. Plus I enjoy a high standard of living. No need to upset that. I’m going to start my own business and Salt Lake is the best place for me to do it. There is actually a highly placed Zen Master in Salt Lake (www.zencenterutah.org). I’m thinking of checking it out.
I’ve decided that I no longer want to be held prisoner by the whims and desire of an employer. I want to build my own company and my own products according to my own vision. I envision a company whose primary mission is to produce useful products for people. A company whose secondary objective is to have fun and to make its employees better people. Sure money is important, but its role is a supporting one. It allows us to produce products that make people’s lives easier and it allows us to enjoy life and become better people. We will not be a company that chases money at the expense of everything else and we will not be held accountable to other’s who want nothing more but to make money. We will not be going public.
This is my vision and it will take a lot of effort and time to realize it. I’ve decided to name my company infiniteNIL. Another Zen idea where to fully understand something you must first completely empty your mind of any preconceptions you have of it. Then you just experience it. Only then will you truly understand it. Plus it has a technical flavor to it, with NIL being a programming term for a nil pointer, which is a pointer to nothing or an empty pointer. My first step will be to find contract work and make enough money to pay the bills and support my vision. If you ever come across someone who needs some programming done or just some technical advice, please keep me in mind. You can always reach me personally and at the company web site (www.infinitenil.com). The site isn’t much yet, but keeping watching it. It will certainly be growing.
I want to thank my friends and everybody who has supported me along the way. From people who let me stay with them like Dez and Julie, Ron and Roe, Arthur and his family, Patricia, Robert, and Christine, to friends who were just there when I needed a friend, like Jo, who’s genuine concern for everybody is just amazing. Last but not least, is my parents, who’s continuing support, no matter what I do, continues to surprise me. Thank you all. I hope you all come to Salt Lake some time so I can return the favor.